Friday, 9 December 2011

Two VAT ladies

Put the hoover round – we’re getting audited.

In (yet another) piece of sage advice from that nice Mr Chris Jones, one of the things Jake and I sorted out at the beginning of this whole movie nonsense was getting ourselves VAT registered. Do this and we can claim back any tax that we are charged on business expenses, like the costs of shooting a movie, for example. A not insubstantial amount of cash on the scales at which we’re working.

Lovely. In Charmed parlance it’s known as “free money”.

The downside is that it forces you to be extraordinarily anal about keeping tabs on your company accounts. As this soubriquet has been levelled at me on a number of occasions (and not always with respect either), master of the spreadsheet duties falls to the boy Phelps.

And today I get a chance to show off my adding and dividing-by-six prowess. Today we get audited by the VAT man.

I say VAT man – in the end it was two women from HMRC that drew the shortest of straws and are currently trawling through a shoe-box full of receipts. And I’m not letting the fact that one of them is quite hot in any way cloud my professionalism *glances left*.  What better way for a Billy Bragg fan to end the week than talking with the taxman about purgatory?

Hang about – where does all this free money come from? Er… from you, the eventual non-business DVD-buying public, it seems. It could be argued that we’ve taken our thirty pieces of silver to collude with the HMRC mafia; we appear to have inadvertently subcontracted ourselves as part-time tax collectors.

Hmm – thanks in advance, guys. You have my unofficial permission to download 20% of the movie from Pirate Bay if it makes you feel any better. Divided.

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