The only way is Essex

Ah. All better.

Yup. We like. Oh, we really like. Unless Hannah from the location agency is reading this, in which case we’re completely ambivalent and there’s really very little point in playing hard-ball just because you think (wrongly) that you have us over a barrel.

So, waddayagot? Well, it’s a proper psychiatric hospital for starters, so it has all the requisite set-dressing minutiae already taken care of. And it’s got a green clock-tower…

… a flooded basement that you know we're going to make our cast wade about in...

 …and the all-important dark-room-with-a-bell-in…

 

And just when we’d given up waiting for a suitable Chapel, two come along at the same time…

I should point out that the first Chapel photo was all user-error and not chronic subsidence.

Bingo!

Ah, but come on Phelps, you miserable git. Tell us about the down-side. Like you always do.

Pikeys, apparently. Every night a different window gets smashed, something gets liberated, and every day the broken window gets boarded up. Over the weekend they lost some of the more easily-transportable kitchen units, and yesterday night saw the disappearance of an entire female toilet block. And this despite the fact that the only people that currently use the place are the daily drills conducted by armed police SWAT teams and police dog-handlers.

Dare I try for the 'police are searching for the toilet thieves but they’ve got nothing to go on' gag? It’s so rare that all the necessary ingredients for that joke to work are together in one place.

Anyway, it’s a day off tomorrow from all things zombie-related as my former employers have kindly laid on a day of instruction in how to start up your own business. Not that this'll stop us posting the video from today’s recce in the evening sometime. This gives you 24 hours to mentally prepare for another visit to the Lost Jonny back-catalogue. Spend them wisely.

But before I go, what are we supposed to do with this information? It’s almost like they were expecting us. Oh, shuuut uuup!

Not that I’m worried, of course. Blotchy.